


Gilbert and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

by BrattyAmericat



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-16 23:17:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4643736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrattyAmericat/pseuds/BrattyAmericat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She has to buy the condoms because he's too embarrassed. (Kink meme request.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gilbert and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Gilbert Beilschmidt, Hetalia High's own self absorbed, self proclaimed 'Prussian', stood stalk still under the dead, flickering, convenience store lights, a cold sweat decorating his brow as he faced one of the greatest challenges of his young life thus far. 

Taking a moment to 'inconspicuous' draw up the collar of his leather jacket to hide his face, the sixteen year old then looked down the long, unwelcoming alley, one way, then the other, before turning his red eyes back to the tiny, innocent looking box hung up in front of him. 

While it was embarrassing as hell, knowing that it was something that he'd have to get over if he wanted to upgrade his 'virgin' title to 'stud muffin,' Gilbert took a deep breath to steady his nerves and reached a shaking hand out towards the condom display... right as another wrinkly hand reached forward to grab some sort of feminine cream that the silver hair teen had no idea what it was for, (nor did he wish to know.)

Turning his head slowly toward the person who had just 'magically' shown up beside him, Gilbert looked into the old woman's eyes. Cold, dead, white eyes, eyes that undoubtedly could hardly see, and yet some how managed to look so judgmental at the teen beside her. 

In a flash, the albino's pale skin went bright red. “What are you looking at, 'Granny'? Have you never seen so much AWESOME in one place before or something? Kesesesesese!” Hands on hips, Gilbert laughed loudly to cover his embarrassment.

The old woman stood her ground for a few seconds longer, then shook her head at the young man before taking her cream and leaving. 

Ego deflated some, Gilbert's shoulder's slumped, and he let out a hefty sigh and looked back towards his new 'arch nemesis'. Glaring at the condom boxes, the silver-haired 'Prussian' took a few deep breaths to try and regain his cool. He could do this! He was AWESOME after all!

Feeling more pumped up, the teenager was about to grab a pack - Really, he seriously was! - when another person was suddenly beside him, (how they kept sneaking up on him, he did not know), but this one was MUCH more familiar then the last, and Gilbert turned just in time to see the long haired Hungarian roll her pretty green eyes at him as she reached out and snagged the Condom box off of the display with no hesitation at all.

“For heaven's sake, Gilbert! You've been in here for nearly thirty minutes! Just pick one and go!” She huffed in annoyance at her red faced boyfriend. “It's not like there are people hiding in the store just so that they can spy on your shopping habits. Honestly, not even being able to buy your own condoms... It makes me feel like I am planning on taking a little boy to bed with me tonight.”

“Wait! Eliza! Don't be like that!” Gilbert replied in a mild panic as his chance of getting laid that night got significantly worse, and began to chase after her when he heard the familiar snickering of his two best friends, Francis and Antonio... who had apparently been 'hiding in the store and spying on his shopping habits' in hopes of getting a chance to mock him, because that's just what teenage boys do.

“Did your girlfriend REALLY just buy the smallest size condoms that this store carries, mon ami?” The French teen asked and Gilbert didn't need to turn around to look at him to know that there was a large smirk on his face. “And to think, all of this time, you've been claiming to have 'three meters.'” Francis chuckled, and Antonio 'helpfully' added, “He told me it was 'six meters.'”

Feeling what was left of his already battered ego shrivel up and die, the albino let out another sigh. 'At least things couldn't get any worse.' Gilbert told himself as he reached into his pocket to pull out his buzzing phone. 

The text message was from his girlfriend, Elizabeta, and it read: Grab me a pack of tampons while you're back there. I don't want to lose my place in line.


End file.
